Great news, we've got the new I Hate Robert J blog up & running! It looks great! Feel free to check it out at: http://ihaterobertj.wordpress.com/
I'll probably update this site once in a while. Thanks everyone!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A New Story From Rob
Wow, Rob made us listen to a story about how he would mock an old coworker with three fingers. Apparently he asked the guy to "give him three," & was shocked when the guy took it personally.
Why the fuck would you tell us a story like that? I guess even sadder is the fact that I listened to it. These are the sacrifices I make for you readers.
Ok, question. What’s the most offended you've ever been after hearing a story?
Why the fuck would you tell us a story like that? I guess even sadder is the fact that I listened to it. These are the sacrifices I make for you readers.
Ok, question. What’s the most offended you've ever been after hearing a story?
Another Wonderful Morning
Hey readers! I just wanted to thank everyone who supports me & our blog here. It’s all of you who keep us going!
Anywho I’m sure you want the low down on what Rob has been up to, so I’ll make it quick.
Rob has been getting in early for the last few days, at first I thought it was because he was starting to realize that everyone else who’s working on our project has actually produces work (a concept totally alien to him). But I guess that’s not the case, because all morning long he’s been laughing to himself hysterically. It’s probably the worst thing that could have happened, everyone who gets in early are only here to do work. It’s quiet in the morning, we like it that way, & we’re all really good buddies (with the exception of Rob) & this is our time to do a day’s worth of work in a couple of hours before other people show up. Now we’ve had to deal with Rob’s annoying laughter, & it’s affecting our work.
Ok, so now that I’ve got my bitch session out of the way I want to open the panel to any readers out there who’ve gone through (or are dealing with) similar things, or to just ask questions. Here’s your chance to let it out, vent a bit. Share stories, & get feedback.
Thanks everyone, & keep fighting the good fight.
Anywho I’m sure you want the low down on what Rob has been up to, so I’ll make it quick.
Rob has been getting in early for the last few days, at first I thought it was because he was starting to realize that everyone else who’s working on our project has actually produces work (a concept totally alien to him). But I guess that’s not the case, because all morning long he’s been laughing to himself hysterically. It’s probably the worst thing that could have happened, everyone who gets in early are only here to do work. It’s quiet in the morning, we like it that way, & we’re all really good buddies (with the exception of Rob) & this is our time to do a day’s worth of work in a couple of hours before other people show up. Now we’ve had to deal with Rob’s annoying laughter, & it’s affecting our work.
Ok, so now that I’ve got my bitch session out of the way I want to open the panel to any readers out there who’ve gone through (or are dealing with) similar things, or to just ask questions. Here’s your chance to let it out, vent a bit. Share stories, & get feedback.
Thanks everyone, & keep fighting the good fight.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Skinny Jeans
I’m not sure if I’ve done a good job conveying this in the drawings of our man Robert J, but he loves to wear pants that are way too skinny to fit on his fat ass. It’s like squeezing cookie dough from those Pillsbury pre-made cookie tubes. It’s fun (or in Rob’s case funny), but after a while it can make you feel sick to the dick. I know it’s not because he’s too poor to buy new pants (because he makes more than me). I wonder if he’s in denial about how old & fat he really is. He probably has the same mentality about his waist line, out of sight out of mind.
Monday, May 11, 2009
HolyShitholyshitholyshit!!!!
I think I just found Rob's old Myspace page:
Here are the highlights:
About me:
I am a pretty out going person. I like to read classic literature as well as some great fiction by current favorite Clive Cussler.I am really into Aviation, Computers, Finance, and love to fish... Love to travel and love FAST CARS... I am trapped in a place called Minneapolis. They say i can check out any time I'd like but I can never leave. Oh yeah looking for a sexy, smart, lady to share my time with. I'm a pretty Normal guy and I'm kinda smart so need a lady with a good conversation.
Who I'd like to meet:
Looking for a Brook Burke, Salma Hayek look alike... Wow! that was a good mental visual.
Body type:
5' 7" / Average
Here are the highlights:
About me:
I am a pretty out going person. I like to read classic literature as well as some great fiction by current favorite Clive Cussler.I am really into Aviation, Computers, Finance, and love to fish... Love to travel and love FAST CARS... I am trapped in a place called Minneapolis. They say i can check out any time I'd like but I can never leave. Oh yeah looking for a sexy, smart, lady to share my time with. I'm a pretty Normal guy and I'm kinda smart so need a lady with a good conversation.
Who I'd like to meet:
Looking for a Brook Burke, Salma Hayek look alike... Wow! that was a good mental visual.
Body type:
5' 7" / Average
Have you no Common Decency?
How shitty of a person do you have to be to mock the recently deceased? Because apparently Rob is there.
So, here’s the low down. A soldier killed five of his buddies in cold blood either today or yesterday. Robert, being a fine example of human decency starts making jokes about it! At first he was just like “Oh, did they fall on their weapons?” & it just got worse from there. Fuck you! They were probably just a bunch of kids! Now they’re dead, & you have the gull to mock them?
Now after he’s done mocking the dead, he changes the subject back to what’s really important to him, fucking Jalapeño Poppers. If the context of any story isn’t about Robert fucking J he changes it so he can be the center of attention!
Rob is like the slowest episode of Family Guy ever! All of his joke & stories are interchangeable, & never add constructively to the topic at hand. He’s a needy fat bitch who won’t shut the hell up! I am so upset that right now! The worst part is he’s relishing in the fact that people are giving him attention because he values the shelf life of Jalapeño Poppers more than he does human beings!
I vote that we take him out back & beat some sense into his fat ass.
So, here’s the low down. A soldier killed five of his buddies in cold blood either today or yesterday. Robert, being a fine example of human decency starts making jokes about it! At first he was just like “Oh, did they fall on their weapons?” & it just got worse from there. Fuck you! They were probably just a bunch of kids! Now they’re dead, & you have the gull to mock them?
Now after he’s done mocking the dead, he changes the subject back to what’s really important to him, fucking Jalapeño Poppers. If the context of any story isn’t about Robert fucking J he changes it so he can be the center of attention!
Rob is like the slowest episode of Family Guy ever! All of his joke & stories are interchangeable, & never add constructively to the topic at hand. He’s a needy fat bitch who won’t shut the hell up! I am so upset that right now! The worst part is he’s relishing in the fact that people are giving him attention because he values the shelf life of Jalapeño Poppers more than he does human beings!
I vote that we take him out back & beat some sense into his fat ass.
The Fate of “I hate Robert J.” blog in question?
For all of you loyal readers out there (Hi mom, happy mother’s day), you’ve probably noticed a significant decline in the “funny,” aspect of this blog. At first it was easy, Rob’s actions were so outlandish this blog wrote itself (in addition to the therapeutic release it provided to me). Later, it seemed I had to really stretch to make the posts new & exciting. This was in no part due to the lack of shitty &/or stupid things Rob said & did, I just feel that if I’m going to be complaining about someone repeating the same dumb things over & over I shouldn’t do something similar by making redundant post.
I don’t want you to take this as a notice of retirement, Rob still surprises us with new & innovative bullshit on occasion. But if my post seem to pop up less often it’s just because there’s nothing new to talk about. This blog is 36 post strong & I assure you that it’ll keep going until one of us, enviably, doesn’t work here anymore.
Which brings up another good point, I think Robert J is feeling the heat. He’s definitely kept his annoying ways in check as of late. Seems as though all the warnings & ethics meetings have finally stuck. Robert knows that if he doesn’t shape up he’ll get the can, & I think he also realizes his personal & professional worth aren’t nearly as valuable as his ego led him to believe.
Which brings us up to speed with Rob. Oh, wait he walked into the office after being gone for an hour. Apparently he had to drive to Jack In the Box to get some Jalapeño Poppers. I fucking hate him.
I don’t want you to take this as a notice of retirement, Rob still surprises us with new & innovative bullshit on occasion. But if my post seem to pop up less often it’s just because there’s nothing new to talk about. This blog is 36 post strong & I assure you that it’ll keep going until one of us, enviably, doesn’t work here anymore.
Which brings up another good point, I think Robert J is feeling the heat. He’s definitely kept his annoying ways in check as of late. Seems as though all the warnings & ethics meetings have finally stuck. Robert knows that if he doesn’t shape up he’ll get the can, & I think he also realizes his personal & professional worth aren’t nearly as valuable as his ego led him to believe.
Which brings us up to speed with Rob. Oh, wait he walked into the office after being gone for an hour. Apparently he had to drive to Jack In the Box to get some Jalapeño Poppers. I fucking hate him.
Friday, May 8, 2009
What are you still talking Rob?
Rob is lecturing everyone about by why some loan companies are out of business, & somehow Nabisco is associated too. Only one person is pretending to be interested. Why doesn’t he understand that no one cares about the things he says.
He cuts off everyone who tries to interject with a FACT, but Rob just won’t listen to anyone. Someone needs to go congratulate his parents on the wonderful job they’ve done raising him. Stellar job.
He cuts off everyone who tries to interject with a FACT, but Rob just won’t listen to anyone. Someone needs to go congratulate his parents on the wonderful job they’ve done raising him. Stellar job.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Move on with your life
Rob broke his pen. Pieces of it flew all over the office. Now he’s walking around trying to find the pieces so he can rebuild his pen? Get a new fucking pen, it’s not the end of the world.
The Same O'l Story
Rob is telling his "I ate too many Jalapeño Poppers & they gave me explosive diarrhea," story.
What the fuck did you expect to happen fucktard?
What the fuck did you expect to happen fucktard?
Secret Message
I think Robert is trying to employ ancient Chinese torture on me! Or, maybe he’s sending me secret messages in Morse Code? He’s rocking in his fat chair with his fucking desk lap pointed right at me!! It’s maddening.
Huh? What’s that Rob? “** -*- -* --- *--. ** -*- -* --- *-- -*-- --- **- **** *- - * -- *.”
Rob, everyone knows I hate you, stop texting your mom, turn off your damn light, & get back to work.
Huh? What’s that Rob? “** -*- -* --- *--. ** -*- -* --- *-- -*-- --- **- **** *- - * -- *.”
Rob, everyone knows I hate you, stop texting your mom, turn off your damn light, & get back to work.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Supply & Demand
What the hell? So our supply people just came through to see if there was anything that we needed before they put in a big order. Everyone in the office is doing fine except Rob! Who would have thought it? Here’s the list of shit he can’t live without.
Chair mat, (Item 561162, Model 120075/40590)
OTT-LITE HD® Black VisionSaver Plus ®Wingshade Desk Lamp (Item 615770, Model K30PNA)
Mouse pad (item number 652595, Model 13618-US/CC)
Keyboard (item number 617433, Model B2M-00012)
Mouse pad (item 768888, Model 6BA-00024)
Chair mat (Item 561162, Model 120075/40590)
That’s about three hundred dollars worth of crap he doesn’t need.
Chair mat, (Item 561162, Model 120075/40590)
OTT-LITE HD® Black VisionSaver Plus ®Wingshade Desk Lamp (Item 615770, Model K30PNA)
Mouse pad (item number 652595, Model 13618-US/CC)
Keyboard (item number 617433, Model B2M-00012)
Mouse pad (item 768888, Model 6BA-00024)
Chair mat (Item 561162, Model 120075/40590)
That’s about three hundred dollars worth of crap he doesn’t need.
Small talk
One of the new girls was desperately trying to get out of small talk with Rob, & in the process she asked who else was in the office (I would later find out it was in an attempt to pawn the conversation off on who ever else was in as she got on with her day). Robert’s genius response was “I think (me) is here?”
What the fuuuuuuck!?!? Rob, you have a clear view of my desk, there is nothing obstructing your view of me, how do you ‘think’ I’m in? If you’d take the time to turn your fat face you’d see me, glaring at you with contempt! It’s like saying, “I think it might rain today,” while you’re standing in the rain!
Rob, sometimes I hate you so much it hurts…
What the fuuuuuuck!?!? Rob, you have a clear view of my desk, there is nothing obstructing your view of me, how do you ‘think’ I’m in? If you’d take the time to turn your fat face you’d see me, glaring at you with contempt! It’s like saying, “I think it might rain today,” while you’re standing in the rain!
Rob, sometimes I hate you so much it hurts…
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